Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder
Do You Have A.A.A.D.D.?
Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit
This is how it manifests:
I decide to wash my car. As I start toward the garage,
I notice that there
is mail on the hall table.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash
I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk
mail in the trash
can under the table,and notice that
the trash can is full.
So, I decide
to put the bills back on the table and take
out the trash first. But then
I think, since I'm going to
be near the mailbox when I take out the trash
I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook
table, and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in
in the study, so I go to
my desk where I find the can of Coke that I
I'm going to look for my checks,
but first I need to
push the Coke aside
so that I don't accidentally knock
it over. I see that the Coke is getting
decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it
cold. As I
head toward the kitchen with the coke a
vase of flowers on the counter
my eye -- they
I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover
reading glasses that I've been searching for all
morning. I decide I better
them back on my
but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the
glasses back down
on the counter, fill a container
and suddenly I spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go
to watch TV, I will
be looking for the remote, but I won't remember
it's on the kitchen table, so I
decide to put it
the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the
I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it
on the floor. So, I set the remote back down
on the table, get some
towels and wipe
up the spill.
Then I head down the hall trying to remember
I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
the car isn't washed,
the bills aren't paid,
there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
the flowers aren't watered,
there is still only one check in my checkbook,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses, and
I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy
all day long, and I'm really
tired. I realize this is a
serious problem, and I'll try to get some
help for it,
but first I'll check my e-mail.
Do me a favor, will you?
Forward this message to everyone you know,
because I don't remember to whom it has been sent.
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!
GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY.
GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL
LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder, growing old, adult humor, adult jokes, bathroom wall sayings
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