Growing Very-Old Jokes

They Just Won't Die


A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a
Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender
gives her the drink she says,

"I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and
it's today.."

The bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday,
I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me."

As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her
right says, "I would like to buy you a drink, too."

The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a
Scotch with two drops of water."

"Coming up," says the bartender.

As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says,
" I would like to buy you one too."

The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want
another Scotch with two drops of water."

"Coming right up," the bartender says.

As he gives her the drink, he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying
of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of

The old woman replies, "Sonny, when you're my age,
you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your
water, however, is a whole other issue."

" OLD" IS WHEN ... Your sweetie says, "Let's go
upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one; I
can't do both!"

"OLD" IS WHEN ... Your friends compliment you on your
new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

"OLD" IS WHEN ... A sexy babe catches your fancy and
your pacemaker opens the garage door.

"OLD" IS WHEN ... Going braless pulls all the wrinkles
out of your face.

"OLD" IS WHEN ... You don't care where your spouse
goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

"OLD" IS WHEN ... You are cautioned to slow down by
the doctor instead of by the police.

"OLD" IS WHEN .."Getting a little action" means you
don't need to take any fiber today.

"OLD" IS WHEN ... "Getting lucky" means you find your
car in the parking lot.

"OLD" IS WHEN ... An "all nighter" means not getting
up to use the bathroom.


" OLD" IS WHEN ... You are not sure these are jokes.


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adult humor, Old jokes, old humor, adult jokes, bathroom wall sayings